This Afternoon's Odd News 9/4/18

posted by Chris Marino - 

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"Googly eyes" are those plastic stick-on things people use for arts and crafts. Or you can put them on inanimate objects, like a carton of milk . . . then name it Kevin . . . and hey, you've got a new friend. (???)  (There's actually a term now for sticking them on random objects. It's called "eyebombing.") But this might be the first PRACTICAL use we've ever seen. A supermarket in Kuwait got shut down the other day after someone caught them sticking googly eyes on DEAD FISH in their seafood section to make them look fresher. Someone posted two photos of it . . . one of a fish with a googly eye covering its real eye, and one where it fell off. And it DOES kind of work, because they sort of look like fish eyes anyway. It's not clear if the store was shut down for scamming people, or if it was a food safety thing. But some people just respect the creativity, and don't think they should be in trouble. People on Twitter have also been tossing out lots of terrible puns to go with the story, like that something "fishy" was going on . . . and that it was definitely a "full-scale" scam. (BBC)

People are making fun of these guys. A shoe store in Roanoke, Virginia called Clean Soles has had two separate break-ins this summer . . . one last month, and one in July. And a bunch of shoes were stolen . . . but almost all of them were RIGHT-FOOTED. They took a bunch of right-foot display shoes. And they never went into the back room where the SETS of sneakers were. In all, the owner says they ran off with 13 right-footed shoes, just one PAIR of sneakers, plus a few shirts, hoodies, and a jacket. Two people were involved in the first break-in in July. One was a 17-year-old kid who's now facing charges. Apparently the other one did the second break-in alone last month. And the cops haven't found him yet. But they did post security footage online. (The Roanoke Times(Here's the security video.)

I'm not sure there's a crappier way to get busted for a crime than this. That's a high-quality pun, by they way, which will make sense in just a second. The cops in Stearns County, Minnesota got a call last week about a burglary at a farm. And when they got there, they found the burglar, a 29-year-old guy hadn't gotten very far . . . in fact, his pickup truck was still on the property. Why? Because when he tried to drive away with a bunch of stolen lumber, he accidentally got stuck . . . in a giant pile of MANURE. And it gets worse. Apparently he tried to run away, but he sunk waist-deep into the manure, and his shoes CAME OFF in the pile. That's the point when he gave up, so when the cops got there, they found him standing next to the pile, barefoot, covered in manure up to his waist, smoking a cigarette. He was arrested for burglary and possession of stolen property. Unfortunately for the cops, even though they hosed him off before they threw him in jail, they say their police station STILL reeks today . . . even though they've kept the windows open and sprayed a ton of Febreze. (Twin Cities Pioneer Press)

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